A Poem of Lessons Learned

Take what is helpful and leave the rest!

So many of you have written me that you are working through your own losses. I am grateful to know that my words have helped you along the way. Thank you for responding, for sharing your story, and for holding mine.

Today, just a poem.

Lessons Learned While Grieving

Hold yourself with tenderness.
A day will come when the shock wears thin
and feeling returns. Cry often. 
If tears won’t come, watch
maudlin movies. Allow sobs to shake
the stupor from your bones.

Hold yourself with kindness.
A day will come when pain gives
way to anger. Do not refuse it.
Throw rocks at the sky.
Scream at the moon. Find
a medicine ball and slam
it down again and again
until the tension leaves
your limbs depleted and your gut
free—for the moment.

Hold yourself with grace.
A day will come when you feel 
like a pinball bouncing
from pain to anger to despair.
Allow time to find your breath, feel
your ribs expand and return. Start 
small. Two breaths, then three.

This journey is yours. Don’t be rushed
by those uncomfortable with your slow
steps. They did not lose what you lost.
Acknowledge their concern, but keep
your feet on your path.

Sit in the sunshine.
Hold a flower.

On days when you find it hard
to get out of bed, hold yourself
with love.

Thanks so much for reading and for responding. I love hearing from you.